


The Nightmare- A Destiel Fanfic

by HuntDemonsLoveAngels



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M, No Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-01
Updated: 2014-01-01
Packaged: 2018-01-07 01:07:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1113711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HuntDemonsLoveAngels/pseuds/HuntDemonsLoveAngels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean has a nightmare which makes him want to see Cas. Castiel, however, is fed up of Dean hiding his feelings. He takes matters into his own hands and makes Dean admit how he really feels about him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Slight violence and stuff when kissing but no sex or anything like that.

Dean woke up from his nightmare with a cry. He always had nightmares; but this, this was complete torture (and not the kind he was used to). In his nightmare he was alone. Utterly alone. He was screaming, calling out for Sam, for Cas, Bobby, anyone. When no one answered him, he let himself sink into the soft grass he was standing on. He lay there, tears streaming from his eyes in complete desolation. When he could no longer breathe through his desperate sobs, he just let all of the sadness and emptiness consume him. He finally let it all in.

At that point he figured it couldn't get any worse; but he was wrong. After lying there for what felt like an eternity. His family and friends appeared around him, glaring down on his quivering body. He stood and ran into Dads arms. He wanted to feel a warm embrace. He wanted to feel him there, and know he was not alone. Suddenly his dad was forcing him to the ground. Dean looked up at him in surprise, but that look was quickly wiped from his face. His dad started to kick him, punch him and beat him into the ground. He felt his foot on the base of his neck, pushing down, forcing gargled words out of Dean's mouth. "Dad! Stop, please. . " His voice was cut off by his hand reaching down and smacking the left side of his face so hard blood started to trickle from above his eyebrow.

He saw the rest of his family and friends encircling him. When his dad stepped away from him, he quickly stumbled to his feet. He called out to Sam "Sam, what's going on?" Before he could get a reply, a sharp pain emanated from his right hip. He cried out and looked down to find Cas inserting a knife into his soft flesh. He fell to his knees, clutching his side trying to stop the thick blood from trickling through his fingers.

He looked at Castiel with a look that could only be described as hopelessness. He felt completely betrayed. Cas was an angel, he was Deans friend. He couldn't count the amount of times Cas had saved him or healed him. How could he suddenly turn on him? He trusted Cas. He let the blood fall out of his mouth when Castiel's fist connected with his chin. "Cas, why're you doing this? We're friends! I trusted you!" Dean cried out. Castiel let out a harsh laugh filled with irritation. "Friends? You thought I was your friend? Oh, Dean. I am an angel of the Lord!" He exclaimed and Dean just let the tears fall freely from his eyes. "Dean you are a pathetic excuse for a human, and trust me when I say I've seen my fair share of them. Do you think any of us ever wanted to be around you?" He heard the sharp laughter of his family around him. He screwed his eyes shut and begged for it to stop. He wanted the laughter to be over. He never thought he'd miss being alone.

Then Sammy leaned over him, and spat in his face. He let three words slip over his pink lips, "I despise you." Dean felt his soul shrinking, and his heart breaking apart. Piece by piece, he was being ripped apart by the people he loved most in the world. He just lay there, letting the taunts fall over him. He lay there until he couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't bare to see his own family hate him. He grabbed Castiel's knife that was discarded on the ground next to him. He stood up, faced all of them in turn: Sammy, Cas, Bobby, Dad, Mum, Ellen and Jo. He closed his eyes and whispered "I'm sorry.", before forcing the knife through his muscled chest.

That was when he woke. He sat up quickly without opening his eyes, still crying out. That was a mistake. He didn't know Cas was above him. Without meaning to, he crashed his screaming mouth into Castiel's and knocked them both off the cheap motel room bed.


	2. The Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's quite long but events do transpire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry It's so long, stuff eventually happens.

As they fell to the floor, Dean clung to Cas' arms for dear life. His eyes were still screwed shut until they hit the floor. Upon impact Dean's eyes sprung open, and he looked up at Cas' terrified expression. He hadn't seen him look that uncomfortable since he took him to a strip club.Their lips were still connected and Dean just looked up helplessly at the angel above him.

Dean immediately pushed Cas off him and strode into the bathroom, locking the door behind him. He splashed cooling water on to his flushed face. He let his tired eyes drift closed. He diverted his train of thought, he couldn't bare to let the harsh words of his dream wash over him again.

His mind drifted back to the startled Castiel he'd left in his room. Why was he here? He was glad to see his friend here, God knows he needed a familiar face right now, but why was he here? Why was he watching Dean sleep, standing over him when he woke up and. . . 'Oh God' he thought. If this was anybody else, they'd understand it was just an accident and meant nothing. But this was Castiel. Dean just knew he wouldn't understand, he knows what a kiss means. Not to say that it was a kiss, just a mistake.

He braced himself, his hand wavering above the door handle. He knew Cas would be confused, and Dean couldn't just let him think it was a kiss. He let out a long sigh and turned the handle. He walked out with his head down as he started to say "Look Cas, man, sorry if that freaked you out it was an . . . " He looked up slowly and saw an empty room. "Son of a bitch." He said, but it came out as more of a sigh. 

He could't blame Cas for leaving. He always left if things got awkward. Dean just kept cursing under his breath. He flopped down onto his bed and let his forearm cover his eyes. He lay there for what could have only been minutes, but felt so much longer. He heard a low voice clearing his throat and immediately sat up. He saw Cas' unnervingly still form leaning against the wall. "Cas look, what happened before was an accident; nothing more. Okay?" He met Castiel's unnaturally blue eyes. He looked confused. "What exactly happened, Dean?"

Dean looked at Cas' expression and was slightly annoyed that he didn't know. "You know, uhm before . . ." Dean rubbed the back of his neck and let out a small sigh. He gestured forward with his other hand, then looked back at Cas to make sure he understood. However Cas looked more confused (if that was even possible). "Dean are you referring to when our lips met?"

Dean let out a curt "Yes." Before rubbing his eyes. "Can we just forget about it now? It happened, it was an accident. It meant nothing, understand?" Dean nearly shouted to get his point across and stood up to convey his frustration. Cas simply nodded and looked at the floor. Dean thought he saw something flicker across Cas' face, an emotion neither could place.

Castiel calmly cleared his throat and added quite nonchalantly "What was you nightmare about? You seemed to be very distressed. I tried to hold you down but you kept fighting me." Dean looked into Cas' eyes and tried to think of a way to avoid talking about his nightmare. He decided to settle his curiosity by asking "Cas, why were you even here?" He looked down at the ground to avoid Castiel's piercing blue eyes. When Castiel didn't respond, Dean was afraid he'd zapped off somewhere to get away from him. He remembered what Cas had said in his nightmare; he snapped his head up to look for Cas far too quickly. He closed his eyes and bit hard into his bottom lip against the pain growing in the back of his neck.

He used one of his hands to try and massage the pain away, while he allowed his eyes to slowly open. He was so relieved to see his friend still in front of him he let out an audible sigh and felt his shoulders relax. He hoped Cas didn't notice, but Cas was already staring at him. He asked quietly if Dean was alright, and he just nodded lightly, careful not to do anymore damage to his neck in another awkward fumble.

"To answer your question Dean," Cas started to say "I was here because you called me here. Although you were unconsciously doing it." Dean looked confused, which surprised Castiel "Is that not a sufficient answer?" He cocked his head to the side to express his confusion at Deans reaction. Dean stared at Cas a second to long. He noticed Castiel's constant stern expression change into one of worry. "Dean?" He called out to him, snapping him back to reality, but not before he watched Cas' lips form his name. He shook his head to focus himself.

"Yeah, Cas, no of course I'm glad you came. It's just, you hardly ever answer unless it's an emergency." Cas' expression changed again; this time into anger. Dean took an involuntary step back, tripping over his own feet onto his bed. He didn't dare move. He just remained sat on the bed, like a deer caught in headlights.

A smug smile played on Castiel's lips, but instead of lessening the effect he had on Dean, it made it worse. Dean felt every muscle visibly tense as Cas took a step forward. The intimidating smile remained plastered to his face. Dean looked up into his fierce gaze and remembered the vicious words Cas spoke to him in his dream. He could feel his confident self control start to shatter.

"I came because I could. You called for me, and I came- Why're you complaining? I've been a little busy with the war going on in heaven to answer your prayers. Don't be selfish, Dean. You make out that I don't want to be around you!" Dean felt his his last shred of self control disappear as Cas' words resemble what was said in his dream. 

Cas' smug persona disappeared in the instant Dean let his tears roll down his cheeks. He hoped Cas wouldn't notice, or feel to awkward to do anything and just go. Dean had to stifle a jump when he felt Cas sit next to him. He turned his head away from Cas' view to wipe away his tears. He felt so pathetic. He would internally scold himself later for acting like such a goddamn chick.

Dean felt Cas gently place his hand on his shoulder. It was an awkward and seemed an unwilling gesture but Dean appreciated it anyway. He placed his hand on top of Cas' as a silent thank you. He felt Cas' hand tense and tighten around his shoulder when their skin touched. Dean didn't have long to dwell on this, because Castiels tight grip drew his attention back to his sore neck. He hissed and his shoulder tensed into Cas' hand.

Castiel let go and apologized for hurting him. Before Dean could protest Cas' hand was on the back of his neck. He pressed down lightly enticing a hurt moan from Dean. Then suddenly the pain was gone. He turned to face Cas and whispered softly "Thank you." The angel just sat there with his hand still on Dean's neck. If this were any other time, Dean would have lectured Cas about the importance of personal space. But right now, with his soft fingers on his neck and the right side of his body resting on Deans, he couldn't complain. 

They sat there for hours, Cas anchoring Dean to reality and not letting him slip away into the dark corners of his mind where he was repetitively tortured. When the first word shared between them in hours was spoken, Dean jumped at Cas' voice being so close to his ear. "Dean, what caused you to start crying? Was it because I yelled at you?" Cas sounded almost worried he'd been the one to upset Dean. He couldn't help but smile. Just knowing his friend cared about him was enough to banish all of the horrible delusions he was having.

"No Cas," He calmly replied. "Just forget you saw that, okay? I don't want people to think I'm a chick." He said with a slight smile playing at his lips. Cas, however, did not smile back. He looked angry again. "Dean, I have seen many men in my time, trust me. Men greater than you or me. What made them men, good honest men, is that they honoured their feelings. They didn't bottle them up. Even I know that is cowardly." When Dean heard this he felt so many emotions he didn't know which one to express. He decided on anger, since he was pretty damn good at that.

"How can you of all people tell me not to bottle things up? You don't even feel! You don't have emotions!" Dean was standing up to shout down at Cas, who to his credit, continued to sit calmly and had his usual passive expression. "How can you call me coward? After all I've done! I think I've been pretty damn brave all my life. How would you feel if you were a kid finding out the monster under your bed was real? I'm not a coward! I just don't like chick flick moments! They don't suit me."

Castiel stood up and stood face to face with Dean; letting his hot breath cascade onto Deans flushed cheek. Dean's eyes immediately went to the floor, desperately avoiding Cas' tormenting stare. He hated how much Cas scared him. He'd never admit it of course, but Cas knew. They both knew who was stronger.

Cas raised his right hand and Dean flinched, expecting to feel a sharp pain across the side of his face. He was then pleasantly surprised when Cas grabbed his chin to force Dean to look at him. Any relief Dean felt was soon gone. His jaw would have dropped if Cas wasn't holding it so tightly. Cas looked more menacing than ever. Dean decided to hold onto his anger, instead of just accepting the fear. His gaze hardened, hoping to have an affect on Cas. The one he got was not one he expected.

Cas smiled wickedly and put his left hand on Deans chest. He shoved Dean so hard he flew into the wall. Some how remaining on his feet, Dean stood up straighter, racking his mind for anyway he could win this fight. Cas was in front of him before he could think of a single strategy. He had both hands on Deans shoulders slamming him further into the wall. Cas' lips were pressing against the hunters for a matter of seconds, before he threw Dean to the floor.

The seconds could have been hours for Dean. He was stunned to the point were the look of surprise mixed with terror was plastered to his face even as he hit the floor. Cas was suddenly on top of him, pinning his body to the floor with his own. He grabbed Deans chin once again and used it to slam Deans head into the floor with a thud. Dean cried out but the sound was short lived. Castiel's mouth was back on his own, kissing him for longer this time. Dean wasn't sure what to do at this point. Should he join in with one of Cas' violent mood swings. If so, which one? Should he fight or kiss the damn angel? Before he could decide, Cas had both hands on the sides of his face, dragging him to his feet.

"You say I don't feel Dean, but I feel many things." Cas started to say through gritted teeth. Dean tried to reply with a snarky 'Yeah, I can see that. Is it that time of the month?' But when he opened his mouth, Cas violated it with his rough tongue. Cas pulled away to continue "Like with you Dean." He said flinging the hunter like a doll on to the bed. "I feel such strong anger towards you," He hissed while shoving the hunter roughly back onto the bed when he tried to escape.

"I also feel something else. I didn't know what it was until I realized it was the opposite of my aggression towards you." Dean flinched. Did that mean love? Did Cas love him? It was hard to imagine when he was throwing him round. "Before Dean could even process that Cas was speaking again, this time into his mouth. "That's why I'm here Dean. I heard you call me, and you sounded distressed. No, you sounded broken. I dropped everything to check on you. And you know what, Dean?" Cas placed a vicious and painful kiss onto Deans soft lips. "I'm sick of you pretending there's nothing here. I know you feel something stronger for me than friendship. I just know it. And I want to hear you admit it!" He exclaimed before placing another bruising kiss onto the hunter.


	3. Peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas make a deal to prove Cas wrong, but Dean has to come to terms with what he really feels.

Cas seemed to know what Dean was thinking. Every time he started to piece together a plan to regain any control he could, Cas would fling him against another wall or assault his fragile human body with more kisses.

Dean was thrown to the floor. His head bounced painfully off the hard floor, and he let out a pitiful cry. Cas didn't seem to care he was hurting Dean, which presented Dean with a slight feeling of disappointment along side resounding pain.

"Look, Cas! I'll talk okay? Just stop!" Dean shouted hoping he'd get through to the angel. Cas immediately backed away from Dean, awaiting his explanation. Dean stood up, leaning against the wall for support as he took several shaky breaths.

"Cas, listen man. We're like family-" Cas immediately moved towards Dean, about to unleash another round of kisses and throwing him like a doll. But before he could reach him, Dean held his hands up in surrender "Wait, wait! Just let me finish!" Cas looked into Dean's desperate eyes and momentarily felt bad he'd hurt and scared him so badly. He was just trying to get a confession out of him.

As Cas once again stepped back, Dean continued. "Cas, I don't know what gave you the impression that I was interested in your, uh. . . angel food cake. . . " Dean continued with a suggestive nod. "But Cas, you've seen how I operate around women. I mean, I lived with Lisa for a year! Come on, surely that tells you I'm straight. Think about it Cas."

Dean realized unconsciously walked closer to Cas to make his point. Cas' eyes shone, but with what, Dean didn't quite know. Cas noticed him staring and smirked. "That. That right there, is why I think we're a little bit more than family Dean." Cas looked very satisfied with his argument, and Dean almost felt bad to break it to him.

"Cas, I was staring because I was trying to figure out if you were upset or angry that I'm not gay."

And that did it. Just saying the words aloud, they broke Cas. They rang in his ears and played constantly over and over in his head in the minutes that followed. It was a lie. It had to be. There was no way he'd made up all of the not so subtle prolonged stares and suggestive conversations. No, he thought, this is him lying to himself. He has to love me. 

Dean watched Cas' reaction to the words 'I'm not gay'. He saw his eyes widen and mouth fall open. He didn't say anything, he just let Cas process the information, knowing the poor guy was confused.

Cas' eyes suddenly narrowed. Dean backed against the wall in fear. He knew only too well that Cas could kick his ass into next week, probably literally he reflected.

"I'm sorry Cas. But I can't change this about myself. I just don't think of you like that." Dean figured he'd apologize now, in a feeble attempt to soothe the angel. It obviously didn't help. Cas looked even more devastated by this news. "Dean, you're lying to yourself," Cas said, stalked slowly over to Dean. "I can feel it. We share a profound-" 

Dean cut him off "Oh, none of that profound bond crap! Yes, Cas you saved me from hell, and I will owe for the rest of my life, but everyone else you've saved much have this goddamn bond! It can't be that special!"

To Dean's surprise, Cas laughed at this. It was a harsh laugh, full of bitterness and anger, but it still shocked him. "Dean, how many people do you think I have dragged out of hell?" Dean just shrugged. "Only you Dean." He watched on with amusement as the hunters eyes widened in disbelief. 

"Your like a million years old and you only bothered to save me from hell?" Dean yelled. "Cas, think of how many good, decent people have suffered? Why didn't you save them?" Cas let Dean be furious for a minute. Cas smiled and looked into Dean's hardened green eyes.

"It's because I am bound to you, Dean. I am not anyone else's saviour. I am not any one else's guardian." Cas watched Dean's every movement as he absorbed this information. Cas wasn't that good with emotions, but he thought he thought he saw several dance on the hunters face and change just as quickly.

"I'm sorry if it's hard for you to accept, but you're tied to me Dean, and I you." When Dean looked like he was about to protest, Cas continued with a smirk. "Besides, I have an eternity to get you to come to terms and accept it. And my persuasive skills more than make up for my lack in 'people skills'. 

Dean was without words. He just stared, open mouthed at Cas. He didn't really believe in the whole 'bond' thing before now. But just looking at Cas' face, into those goddamn eyes, he know he was screwed. Cas meant it, every word.

After another long, but not totally unbearable silence, Cas leaned in to press Dean into the wall with his strong hands. "So," Cas started, so close to Dean's face Cas could feel Dean's breath puffing out on his own lips. He heard Dean mutter something about personal space, but Dean was to afraid Cas would attack his mouth if he opened it too wide when Cas was so close. "Why don't we start small? I think we both need to be eased into this." Cas finished with a longer than necessary breath at the end.

Dean fought to push Cas away with no prevail. "Don't fight it Dean." Dean decided to just stand there, eyes and mouth firmly closed, refusing to acknowledge the damn angel. "I'll make you a deal, Dean. If you can kiss me, and then continue to live in a state of denial, I will not bother you about this again." Dean opened his eyes wide to look at Cas. He knew better than to make deals, but he knew this was one he could get his way with. He knew he could resist Cas, he didn't see him that way.

Dean scrunched his eyes shut, and muttered "Fine." Before, eyes remaining screwed closed, he moved his head slowly and uncertainly forward. He expected to meet Cas' lips by now, but when he felt nothing, he opened his eyes to Cas' obnoxious smirk. He'd moved his smug face inches away and quietly said "Keep your eyes open. I want to know exactly how you feel, and your eyes go straight into your soul." Dean felt slightly uncomfortable at the notion that Cas could see his soul (knowing it wouldn't be a pretty sight). Dean remembered the task at hand, and looked at Cas' lips, before sliding up his face until he met his eyes. He kept his eyes locked on Castiel's as he moved his lips forward to meet the awaiting angel. 

Suddenly, everything was gone. All of the worry. All of the anger. All of the bitterness and resentment. All of the pent up fury. All of the devastation. It was all gone. For the first time, Dean wasn't plagued by his demons. He wasn't worrying about anyone. He wasn't playing over a traumatizing memory in his head. He wasn't missing a lost friend. He wasn't mourning all of the people he'd lost, and the life he never got to have.

Dean had never felt more at peace. He finally felt like this is where he should be. For a brief moment in the back of his mind, he was thankful for all of the bad things that had happened, because they had led him to this moment.


	4. Give up or Give in

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean isn't sure he's happy with what happened between him and Cas.

Dean woke up to soft kisses being pressed into his skin. He was still tired, so he kept his eyes closed and just focused on gentle lips pressing lightly on to his face. He felt rough stubble press against his jaw as lips pressed into his nose.

His eyes shot open and he pushed the offending roughness away as soon as the realization hit him that it was Castiel. He had honestly thought last night was a dream, and he hadn't even thought about who was kissing him.

He looked up into Cas' shocked and hurt-filled eyes. "What's the matter, Dean?" He asked so innocently. Dean opened his mouth to yell at him, but no words came to mind. He didn't even know why he was mad. Okay I have two options here, he thought to himself. I can either say 'Nothing, lets go back to bed', or I can scream my head off for no apparent reason. . . 

Dean is a Winchester, so he obviously chose the latter.

"What the hell are you doing?" He screamed, fueling his voice with anger that wasn't there. Cas tilted his head in momentary confusion. After a second his expression turned oddly smug. That's when Dean got mad for real. "What're you so damn chuffed about?" Dean yelled as he got out of bed and stormed across the room.

It wasn't until he turned to face Cas he noticed he was naked. He let his face flame with embarrassment but didn't let his anger fade. Cas looked even more smug now. A huge smirk was spreading across his face as he eyed Dean up and down. "Stop it Cas!" Dean wanted to cover himself up to stop Cas' unrelenting eyes boring into his skin, but he ddin't want to look vulnerable. So he stood there, completely naked, with his fists balled at his sides.

Cas eventually met Dean's eyes after thoroughly examining every inch of his body with those stunningly blue eyes. He was grinning from ear to ear at Dean's furious expression. "What's the matter Dean?" He said as he got up to walk over to Dean's flushed body. "You look uncomfortable." His voice was laced with confidence and self contentment.

"Well what do you expect?" He screamed in Cas' face. "I'm standing naked in front of my best friend, who is a guy, after sleeping in the same bed as him!" Dean could feel his anger fading, being gradually replaced by a feeling of hopelessness. He couldn't pretend this hadn't happened for the rest of his life, could he?

Cas looked confused "We did more than sleep, Dean. Surely you remember we-"

"Stop!" Dean cried.

"Why?" Cas just looked bewildered. "Aren't you happy? Didn't you enjoy last night?"

Dean couldn't even respond. He just looked at the floor. He hadn't even thought about whether he enjoyed sleeping with Cas, or whether he was happy. All he felt was his dying anger and the hopeless feeling growing and consuming him.

"Cas, last night was a mistake, you know that, don't you? It's just one of those things you have to forget about and move on from." Dean slowly looked up into Cas' eyes as he spoke. He wasn't sure what he expected to see, but after the beating he took last night, it wasn't going to be pretty.

As it was, Cas looked pained. "I don't understand. You kissed me back. You slept with me! That means you love me."

Dean sighed and rolled his eyes. "Sex doesn't have to mean love anymore Cas. People have sex for other reasons, like boredom, or to take their mind of something."

"Is that what you think last night meant to you?" Cas said quietly whilst taking a few steps away from Dean. Dean nodded and said "Look Cas, you took my mind away from my nightmare, and more importantly, I did it so you'd stop kicking my ass!"

"But that was the only way to get you to admit it!" Cas cried out."After all I've done for you, you'd still dare to say that I'm no more than a friend to you? A brother? You'd never have sex with Sam." Cas turned away from Dean to face the wall.

It was at that moment Dean realized Cas was naked also. It took so much of his concentration to stay angry, he hadn't noticed the angel being naked. He took a cautious step towards Cas' slightly shaking form. "Look Cas, I'm sorry. Last night was fun, I'll give you that much. But you don't love me Cas."

Dean felt all of his anger disappear in that moment. He hadn't been angry this entire time, not really. He just felt lost. He didn't know how to handle Cas not loving him. He didn't know if he loved Cas, he wasn't nearly ready to go there yet. But he did care about him, of course he did.

Suddenly Castiel span around and stalked over to Dean. "How would you know whether I love you or not?"

"Because you don't feel Cas! If you loved me would you have hurt me so much?" He shouted, gesturing at his bruised body. "That's not love Cas."

Cas' eyes were brimmed with tears, a sight Dean had never seen. Instinctively he moved closer to his friend and rubbed his thumb under Cas' eyes, wiping away the tears before they could fall. If he can cry, surely he can love. . . 

"Dean, I do love you. I love you so much I would cry for you, something I have never done for another human." Dean felt his breathing stop short when he heard this. He wanted to give in. He wanted to give in to something he didn't even understand. He just knew he could only be at peace if he was with Cas.

"I wish that were true, Cas. But you're my friend and I need you. I need you so much I can't risk loosing you if this ends badly." Dean didn't know why he was saying any of this. His heart was screaming at him, he could hear it. It was Sammy's voice, scolding him for being a coward, telling him to just accept the love he obviously felt for the angel.

"You're a liar and a coward!" Cas screamed, collapsing on the floor. He couldn't bring himself to care about how pathetic he must have looked to Dean. Dean sank down to the floor where Cas was shaking as he cried.

"Cas." Cas just kept his head in his hands. "Cas." Dean repeated louder, but Cas refused to acknowledge him. Dean took Cas' face into his hands, forcing Cas to look at him. "Cas I'm sorry. I don't want to hurt you, but look at me! I'm an emotionally unattached mess, Cas! You would get hurt, or I would . I'd be constantly waiting for you to have free time from heaven. It'd kill us, Cas. If we give in to this. . . It'll kill me." Dean had already given in. He coudln't stop himself from opening up to Cas, telling him these things before they had even crossed his own mind. "I don't think either of us are the type to make a serious, long-term relationship work. I've never been in one before, and neither have you. You're not used to human emotions Cas, and you deserve someone who'll be able to treat you right."

Cas' old eyes displayed so much pain when he looked into Dean's. And Dean's equally showed his many loses and sorrows. Cas reached for Dean's hand and placed it on to his cheeks that were still wet form crying. Dean stroked his thumb across Cas' skin, not once breaking eye contact. They both wanted to kiss away the others pain, but feared the other would push them away.

"Lets teach each other Dean." Cas said, his voice was hopeful.

"What do you mean Cas?"

"We can teach each other about relationships."

"Cas, that's a lot of work. Not to mention we'd practically be experimenting on each other! Who knows whether a hunter and an angel are actually capable of loving." 

"I'm willing to try Dean. Are you?" His eyes were so full of hope and want it was enough to break Dean's heart. "Please don't know this to me Cas." Dean pleaded with him.

"Dean just give us a chance! What are you afraid of? You're the fearless Dean Winchester! So what is scaring you?" Cas yelled.

Dean let his tears fall freely at this point. What was the point in acting tough when you're scared right down to your soul. Cas looked frantic having cause Dean to break. He wrapped his arms around Dean, practically tackling him into the carpet. He trailed quick kisses down Dean's jaw, trying to relieve some of his friends pain. "I'm sorry Dean." He said between kisses. "I'm so sorry." Dean's response was to wrap his arms around Cas' waist in a vice grip, forcing the two closer together.

Dean was soon calm due to Cas' soothing apologies and comforting kisses. Cas tilted Dean's face towards his, close enough for Dean to kiss him if he wanted too. "Dean, I will leave if you wish. I will not force myself on to you anymore. I never meant to upset you." Dean was about to respond when Cas continued. "I just need you to do one thing for me. Can you do that Dean?" He looked at Dean expectantly, and Dean nodded slowly.

"I just need to hear you say that you don't love me." Dean's mouth opened wide, the look on his face was one of defiance. "Dean, I just need to hear you say it; and no other words to ease the pain. Just simply 'Cas, I do not love you'".

"Cas I can't say tha-"

"Why not?"

"I just can't!"

"It'd be less painful if you'd just say it."

"No!"

"Why not Dean?"

Dean thrust his lips forward and connected them to Castiel's. Neither dared to move, scared of the harsh reality that surrounded them. After what could have been hours to them, Dean started to move his lips against Cas', who responded enthusiastically.

Soon, Dean ended up on top of Cas. He was kissing him passionately. It was forceful, yet conveying more emotion than either could ever try to voice. Dean pulled out of the kiss and rested his forehead against Cas' whilst trying to catch his breath. He looked down into Castiel's eye's. They were filled with such love and adoration when he looked at his precious hunter. Dean's eyes mirrored the emotion.

"Because I love you, Castiel." Dean whispered over Cas' lips. Both men broke into huge smiles, and continued to devour each others lips.

The next time Dean woke up to Cas' soft kisses, he smiled and returned the favour. Neither man felt that what they had wouldn't last. They were happy together; and no one, not God nor Lucifer, was going to tear them apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave any comments for improvement.


End file.
